Faith is always an evolving belief system. Every revelation we receive enlightens us, causing our belief system to evolve even more. Things I put on the shelf years ago because I thought they were outlandish are things I believe in now because of scratching more and more into the vast things of God, which he has never hid from any of us. It was all blinded by a veil from the devil.
Like the former blind guy in the gospels said when questioned by people about what happened to him, "All I know is that once I was blind and now I see," once I was confused, turbulent, frustrated, dominated, abused -- in other words blind -- and now I know peace, joy, happiness, hope and excitement and only because of God through the Holy Spirit.
I told God from the very beginning that I didn't want something that would fail me like all the other weirdo stuff I had studied that lasted a while and then failed. I told Him that if He wasn't real and that if He really was like what all the religious people said He was like, that I didn't want to know Him.
Tearing out of my mind what all the religious teachings taught me was the hardest thing I ever did. I had a mountain full of garbage from religion and that was hard for the Holy Spirit to tunnel through. But when the "real thing for me" came, it was like heaven on earth, like going after a tiny gold nugget and finding instead a mountain made of gold and silver and rubies and diamonds.. Notice that I said, "FOR ME" when the real thing "for me" came it was like tasting the sweetest honey a person can taste and drinking the most delicious, invigorating water a person can drink. For me it was and still is paradise. None of it came from any man's teaching. That's why it's so precious. It was tailor made tutoring from the Holy Spirit, tailor made for me so that I could understand it with my peculiar family background, generational heritage, terrible life experiences and unhappy, abusive marriage looming in the background.
That's what is so fantastic about the Holy Spirit. He teaches people from the inside, a private tutor who knows how to phrase revelations individually for every single person who was ever alive in the past, is alive today and those who will be alive in the future. He's Daddy on the inside of us, equipped to tunnel through the crap and the garbage and show us what He is really like. Then when we are established in Him, like a castle built on a solid rock mountain, then He begins to teach each one of us individually, in words and images that only we alone can understand, how to live the abundant life that he created us to live. When He starts teaching us to love our enemies, to do good to those who spitefully use us, then we understand because we see the working of the spiritual dimensions and know that it all works because it is so insightful and wise and brilliant and exciting.
Like the former blind guy in the gospels said when questioned by people about what happened to him, "All I know is that once I was blind and now I see," once I was confused, turbulent, frustrated, dominated, abused -- in other words blind -- and now I know peace, joy, happiness, hope and excitement and only because of God through the Holy Spirit.
I told God from the very beginning that I didn't want something that would fail me like all the other weirdo stuff I had studied that lasted a while and then failed. I told Him that if He wasn't real and that if He really was like what all the religious people said He was like, that I didn't want to know Him.
Tearing out of my mind what all the religious teachings taught me was the hardest thing I ever did. I had a mountain full of garbage from religion and that was hard for the Holy Spirit to tunnel through. But when the "real thing for me" came, it was like heaven on earth, like going after a tiny gold nugget and finding instead a mountain made of gold and silver and rubies and diamonds.. Notice that I said, "FOR ME" when the real thing "for me" came it was like tasting the sweetest honey a person can taste and drinking the most delicious, invigorating water a person can drink. For me it was and still is paradise. None of it came from any man's teaching. That's why it's so precious. It was tailor made tutoring from the Holy Spirit, tailor made for me so that I could understand it with my peculiar family background, generational heritage, terrible life experiences and unhappy, abusive marriage looming in the background.
That's what is so fantastic about the Holy Spirit. He teaches people from the inside, a private tutor who knows how to phrase revelations individually for every single person who was ever alive in the past, is alive today and those who will be alive in the future. He's Daddy on the inside of us, equipped to tunnel through the crap and the garbage and show us what He is really like. Then when we are established in Him, like a castle built on a solid rock mountain, then He begins to teach each one of us individually, in words and images that only we alone can understand, how to live the abundant life that he created us to live. When He starts teaching us to love our enemies, to do good to those who spitefully use us, then we understand because we see the working of the spiritual dimensions and know that it all works because it is so insightful and wise and brilliant and exciting.
That's why it is so wonderful, because He is so wonderful.
This relationship with Him has never been something that I've had to emotionally work up by singing or praising or any other means. That's not my style. It only involved spending time with Him and getting to know him better than anyone else I know. Emotional singing and praising may be another person's right way. It's just not mine. The only song I used to sing when I would sit in my rocking chair rocking away studying about him was,"Getting to know you, getting to know all about you, getting to like you, getting to hope you like me." That wasn't very religious; was it? I had to have Him in my life or I would have perished in my current abusive situation. There was no other way. He was the last resort. I had tried every other religion, philosophy and doctrine.
I never dreamed then that knowing Him like I know Him now would be such a treat that I would double over in laughter at something He says to me, even in a loving rebuff, but more often in His comical, loving explanations of things. I never dreamed that just two kind words from Him would allow me to see the inside of a person and see the true person there. I never dreamed that death would only be an easy transition from one dimension to another like I observed in my mom, and then this week when I saw the spirit of a friend who was dying of cancer. When we were praying for other people last week I saw in my mind the friend just slowly and peacefully slip from earth into heaven and the words came to me, "He is having a transition already into eternity and there will be no river to cross or valley to go through, he will slip into heaven so easily he won't even know there has been a change." Then in the paper in two days I saw that he had died peacefully with his family praying at his side. What an absolute joy to have been privileged to see that prophetically while it was happening but before the actual final event.
My songs of praise to Him are, "There ain't no mountain high enough, there ain't no valley low enough, there ain't no river wide enough, to keep me away from you, Dad." I've never been a traditional person, no traditional religious songs for me. They make me cry. That one brings
joy to me!
Can you imagine my arrogance in telling Him before I knew Him that He better be real because if He wasn't I didn't want anything to do with Him? But, He understood because he knew how fragmented my journey had been and how broken my heart was from abuse, and how genuine my desire was to be a good mother in the middle of a crappy life. He understood and He met me where I was at the time. Now that is a good Dad! An earthly dad would have slapped a mouthy kid who was that arrogant, but He didn't. He just opened His loving arms and gathered me up into them and began to lead someone to me who told me about how to allow His Life, His Holy Spirit, into my life so He could become my hero and my comforter and my guide and my lover and my teacher and my protector and on and on.
It has been a ride and it will be more of a ride in the future. Can't wait to see what comes next!
Again I reiterate, this has been the way "for me". If anyone wants to know about my journey I love to tell them and introduce them to Him. But, the arrogance is gone and I know there may be other ways for other people. We'll all end up at the same place. It's the journey there that is so fantastically exciting.
For me, there ain't no mountain high enough to keep me away from Him!
This relationship with Him has never been something that I've had to emotionally work up by singing or praising or any other means. That's not my style. It only involved spending time with Him and getting to know him better than anyone else I know. Emotional singing and praising may be another person's right way. It's just not mine. The only song I used to sing when I would sit in my rocking chair rocking away studying about him was,"Getting to know you, getting to know all about you, getting to like you, getting to hope you like me." That wasn't very religious; was it? I had to have Him in my life or I would have perished in my current abusive situation. There was no other way. He was the last resort. I had tried every other religion, philosophy and doctrine.
I never dreamed then that knowing Him like I know Him now would be such a treat that I would double over in laughter at something He says to me, even in a loving rebuff, but more often in His comical, loving explanations of things. I never dreamed that just two kind words from Him would allow me to see the inside of a person and see the true person there. I never dreamed that death would only be an easy transition from one dimension to another like I observed in my mom, and then this week when I saw the spirit of a friend who was dying of cancer. When we were praying for other people last week I saw in my mind the friend just slowly and peacefully slip from earth into heaven and the words came to me, "He is having a transition already into eternity and there will be no river to cross or valley to go through, he will slip into heaven so easily he won't even know there has been a change." Then in the paper in two days I saw that he had died peacefully with his family praying at his side. What an absolute joy to have been privileged to see that prophetically while it was happening but before the actual final event.
My songs of praise to Him are, "There ain't no mountain high enough, there ain't no valley low enough, there ain't no river wide enough, to keep me away from you, Dad." I've never been a traditional person, no traditional religious songs for me. They make me cry. That one brings
joy to me!Can you imagine my arrogance in telling Him before I knew Him that He better be real because if He wasn't I didn't want anything to do with Him? But, He understood because he knew how fragmented my journey had been and how broken my heart was from abuse, and how genuine my desire was to be a good mother in the middle of a crappy life. He understood and He met me where I was at the time. Now that is a good Dad! An earthly dad would have slapped a mouthy kid who was that arrogant, but He didn't. He just opened His loving arms and gathered me up into them and began to lead someone to me who told me about how to allow His Life, His Holy Spirit, into my life so He could become my hero and my comforter and my guide and my lover and my teacher and my protector and on and on.
It has been a ride and it will be more of a ride in the future. Can't wait to see what comes next!
Again I reiterate, this has been the way "for me". If anyone wants to know about my journey I love to tell them and introduce them to Him. But, the arrogance is gone and I know there may be other ways for other people. We'll all end up at the same place. It's the journey there that is so fantastically exciting.
For me, there ain't no mountain high enough to keep me away from Him!
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