Mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have a long, long history of having problems, sometimes resulting in alienation of members of families. For some reason mothers-in-law and sons-in-law don't very often have that problem.
I had a good relationship with my mother-in-law Marguerite Allen. She was a smart, congenial, active lady who had four sons. She had a special relationship with all of her daughters-in-law.
Some relationships were occasionally stormy, but most of the time there was great love and respect for the matriarch of the family. She was educated as a nurse, found that was not her calling, but she became a professional woman after college in the early 1900s . She professed to having been the head of the first welfare system in Denver.
We all knew that Mom's word was the final edict in any situation, not only with Dad but also with the sons and their wives. I would say obedient respect is a good phrase to describe our attitude toward her.
She listened very closely all of the time and when birthdays and Christmas came around we always received multiple gifts from her and they were always articles that we had at sometime or other voiced that we wanted or often it was something for which we had only wished. She was a giver of goods, for sure.
When Mom was in her late 70s she developed polymyalgia, a muscle disease. She eventually ended up in a wheel chair. That was a real blow to her independent nature, but it seemed as time went by that a sort of enjoyment came along with the care and attention that the wheel chair afforded her. Dad was very good about taking care of her and carting the wheel chair around from place to place in the trunk of the car.
As years went by, pain began to escalate as the polymyalgia gained more control of her body and there were times when the pain showed on her face. Most of the time she was reluctant to admit to having pain, as women of that generation were inclined to refrain from sharing emotional fluxuations.
On one occasion when my husband Steve and I were visiting Mom and Dad she seemed particularly feeble because of the pain. Yet, the custom was that we always went to The Club to eat an elegant meal and she wasn't going to miss that tradition for anything.
We got her ready to go and Dad wheeled Mom out to the car and put her in the passenger seat. I got in the back seat where I usually rode. Dad and Steve went back into the house to get something and that left Mom and I alone in the car.
Mom told me pitifully that she had been in so much pain that it didn't seem like she could stand it anymore. I asked her if she wanted me to pray for her. She immediately said she welcomed the prayer. I knew that I had the anointing of the Holy Spirit even before I touched her because I felt that familiar heat in my hands that I had felt many times when praying for people.
I touched Mom on the shoulder, prayed a very short prayer, Episcopalian style since that was their denominational preference, and I felt the fire of the Holy Spirit go from my hands into her body.
"Oh, my goodness, Tommye. That's wonderful, " she squealed, setting aside her usual emotional control.
"That's God," I answered.
Steve and Dad came out of the house, having retrieved what they sought. They got in the car but nothing was shared about the spiritual event that had just happened between God and Mom. Sometimes when we immediately give voice to such an occasion the words rob it of its reality. That's why Jesus occasionally told some people to, "Tell no man," after a miracle had occurred in his ministry.
We ventured off to The Club. When we arrived Mom proudly stated that she didn't need her wheel chair and the guys didn't need to get it out of the trunk. Dad asked her, "Are you sure? I certainhly think you need to use it."
"No," she firmly stated. "I don't need it." She walked into The Club assisted only by Dad and Steve lightly touching her arms. She was "aglow with the Spirit."
I know that she had felt the power of God in her body and it had thrilled her. The next time we talked on the telephone she told me that she wished I was there with her to "touch " her again.
I don't remember her talking about pain again, even though she did eventually go back into the wheel chair.
As I look back on the occasion of Mom being "touched" by the power of God, I see that it was a miracle that she walked into the Club. She had not walked with confidence in several years and I know that her muscles were deteriorated from lack of use as well as the effects of a crippling disease.
When I think of Mom now I always visualize that look of utter surprise when God's power surged through her body, resulting in an expression change from one of pain into one of utter joy and peace.
Marguerite Allen had the privilege of experiencing God's love before she met him face to face in heaven where she is completely reveling in it. I'm sure she thanked God even more excitedly in heaven than she was able to in the earth when she was covered by His love and power that time in the front seat of the Buick.
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